Category Archives: Leaving Cert Paper 1

Paper 1 advice and examplars.

7 Fixable Follies

Following our mocks, I made a list of avoidable errors that I come across again and again and again. Here are some of them, alongside some links and suggestions to help you sort them out.

PROBLEM 1 = Mis-read the question

SOLUTION = Underline the key words in the question. Still confused? Re-write the question in your own words to clarify what you’re being asked. If you still don’t understand the question, try to avoid it. Pick a different one if possible.

PROBLEM 2 = mis-use apostrophes

SOLUTION =  learn these simple rules.  Use apostrophes:

1. to show that something BELONGS to someone (possessive nouns)

2. to show a letter is missing because you squished 2 words together (contraction)

NEVER USE APOSTROPHES TO MAKE A WORD PLURAL! If the word is already plural, add the apostrophe after the s (no need to have two s’s in a row!). eg “The three dogs’ bowls were empty” is better than “The three dogs’s bowls were empty”

NEVER USE APOSTROPHES WITH HIS / HERS / ITS – ownership is already clear e.g. “It’s not his, it’s hers” – here it’s means it is

e.g. “Its only difficulty as an organisation is that it’s too trusting” – here the difficulty belongs to it (the organisation) but for ITS you don’t need to indicate possession. Only use an apostrophe with its is when it means “It is” e.g. “it’s raining”

To practice using apostrophes correctly, click here http://www.chompchomp.com/exercises.htm#Apostrophes

PROBLEM 3 = spelling errors

SOLUTION = Create a personal dictionary. List all the words you have misspelled over the last two years. Write each word out ten times correctly.

It can help to break the word into sections.
If a word is particularly difficult, you can come up with a mnemonic (a memory trigger) to help you remember it. eg. Accommodation – two c’s, two m’s, three o’s– ooo, Carla Colley and Mark Madden shared accommodation in the hotel!

Get someone to test your spellings or try this method below to test yourself.  You’ll need a blank sheet of paper to test your spelling.  LOOK – SAY – COVER – WRITE – CHECK

For more tips check out www.spellzone.com

PROBLEM 4 = poor punctuation and sentence control leading to run-on lines, sentence fragments, comma splices and fused sentences.

SOLUTION = this is hard to fix.

A sentence expresses a complete thought. It contains a subject, a verb and a main clause (central idea in the sentence). Sentences can be simple or complex but you CANNOT keep adding on extra sub-clauses endlessly (using “and” “because” “as well as”). These afterthoughts tell the reader that you cannot control your sentences and create the impression that you don’t really know what you’re trying to say.

Too many short sentences will make your writing seem childish.
Too many long complex sentences in a row make it hard to follow (particularly when writing a speech). Practice identifying fragments at www.chompchomp.com

If you ask a question, include a ? mark. You need to understand the difference between using a comma (please pause here) and using a full stop (this idea is over).

PROBLEM 5 = lack of flow

SOLUTION = practice using these connectives in your writing

  • To qualify a statement you’ve just made use: although, unless, except, despite, yet, nonetheless.
  • To show cause and effect: because, therefore, thus, as a result, stemming from this, as a direct consequence
  • To emphasise: above all, particularly, obviously, clearly
  • To illustrate: for example, including, such as, for instance, in this case
  • To compare / contrast: similarly, likewise, equally, instead of, by contrast
  • To add an idea: also, as well as, moreover, additionally, furthermore
  • To indicate time: firstly, secondly, lastly, next, then, finally, meanwhile, whenever, until, immediately, afterwards, later, earlier
  • To indicate position: within, outside, throughout, beyond, among, beneath, furthermore, in the foreground, in the background, left of centre, right of centre, the focus is on…
  • To sum up: finally, let me finish by saying, lastly, in conclusion, ultimately

PROBLEM 6 = floating quotes

SOLUTION = integrate quotes. Watch this video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6sTsl4ovgM or follow the rules below which derive from the video:

METHOD 1:Introduce the quotation with a statement and a colon – Jones uses statistics to convince us that smoking is a major health concern: “78% of smokers die prematurely”. NEVER insert a quotation as a stand-alone sentence.

METHOD 2: Introduce the quotation with the writer’s name: As Jones observes, “78% of smokers die prematurely”. (Or instead of observes use describes/ illustrates / argues)

METHOD 3: Blend the quote into your own sentence (this is the best method) – It is profoundly shocking to think that I could be one of the “78% of smokers [who] die prematurely” and reading this article has certainly made me rethink my habits.

PROBLEM 7 = casual language, cliches and slang. 

Those who don’t read a lot suffer from this affliction and frequently struggle to use language appropriate to the written word. Often it sounds like they are ‘speaking’ to you from the page.

This results in long slang-infested often incoherent sentences, with several sub-clauses, a lack of full stops and other punctuation and ideas which are added on at the last minute and sometimes other vague stuff which make the sentence hard to follow and it becomes very irritating for the reader. You get the idea!

SOLUTION = First of all, just be aware that there’s a difference between spoken and written language. Or as the UEFAP website expresses it: “Written language is relatively more complex than spoken language. Written language has longer words, it is lexically more dense and it has a more varied vocabulary. Academic writing is relatively formal. In general this means that in an essay you should avoid colloquial words and expressions”.

Look at the way language changes depending on the context by doing these exercises: http://www.uefap.com/writing/feature/intro/intro.htm and try this one http://www.uefap.com/writing/feature/featfram.htm to practice formal writing.

 

Tone

In a recent blog post I commented that for me, the major difference between mood and atmosphere comes down to this: a mood exists primarily within a person; an atmosphere exists primarily in a place.

Now it’s time to turn my attention to tone. The first thing that springs to mind for most people is ‘tone of voice’. You can tell how a person is feeling by the way they say something, how loud or soft their voice is, how fast or slow they speak, by the words they choose and of course if you’re in the same room as the speaker you tune in to their body language and facial expression as well.

Tone in writing is a more complicated beast.

You are trying to figure out the writer’s attitude and feelings towards the topic at hand but the clues to figuring out how they feel are often more subtle than spoken language and the reader must establish the tone without the help of body language, facial expressions, volume and speed of delivery.

So let’s do a little experiment.

Imagine the school receives a phone-call from a parent complaining about some aspect of my teaching. I decide to reply in writing. I have almost endless options open to me in terms of the tone I adopt when I reply – and for the record I don’t buy into the notion that text messages inherently have no tone. They can capture your feelings if you are careful enough when you compose them!

Now look at several potential replies below. To protect the anonymity of my fictional accuser I’ll just refer to them as ‘parent’!

1. Dear Parent,

I wish to apologise unreservedly for accusing your daughter of cheating. I realise that she is a diligent student who simply wished to have the ‘right’ answer, hence her decision to pass off internet research as her own work. However, if she wishes to improve her mastery of this subject and her overall literacy, in future she will need to use this material to write her own responses rather than relying entirely on other people’s expertise.

Sincerely,

Ms. O’Connor

OR

2. Dear Parent,

I am writing in response to your recent complaint that I unfairly accused your daughter of cheating. To be precise I accused your daughter of plagiarism as the homework assignment she submitted two weeks late was copied word for word off the internet. All it takes is a simple google search with one sentence of such plagiarised material to reveal the truth, which is that your daughter did in fact cheat. I suggest in future you spend more time assisting your daughter with her homework and less time phoning our school with baseless complaints which are a waste of my time.

Yours etc,

Ms. O’Connor

OR

3. Dear Parent,

Following your recent communication with school management about your daughter’s homework, I wish to arrange a meeting with you, your daughter and if possible your partner to discuss this issue. I realise that not everyone understands the seriousness of plagiarism but I believe this is an important issue that all of our students need to understand, particularly in this era of ubiquitous content freely available online. 

Yours faithfully,

Ms. O’Connor

OR

4. Dear Parent,

Following consultation with my union and their legal representatives, I will not be responding personally to your complaint about my teaching. However, my solicitor will be in contact shortly in relation to slanderous comments made by you in the comments section of our school’s website and on facebook.

I look forward to resolving this matter fully,

Ms. O’Connor

Now ask yourself, what tone have I adopted in each fake letter? Belligerent? Rude? Arrogant? Apologetic? Conciliatory? Defensive? Aggressive? Patronising? Are some of the letters a combination of different tones? Why did I use different methods of signing off in each example? If this really did happen, which tone should I adopt?

Being aware of your tone is really really important in life, no matter who you are or what job you do. If you come across as arrogant and belligerent people simply won’t like you as a person. On the other hand if you assume that you are always the one in the wrong when conflict arises then people may simply walk all over you!

The important thing is to tune in to your own tone particularly when writing because once it’s published you can’t take it back. Be self-aware and perhaps even get someone else to look over your work before submitting it into the public domain. The fact is other people do make judgements about you based on the tone you adopt both in spoken and written communication so the better you become at identifying and controlling tone the better.

Here’s a link to a very good powerpoint with various examples of different tones in writing:

http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/sharon_elin-305283-authors-tone-u1l3r-education-ppt-powerpoint/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mood & Atmosphere

Recently an emailer asked me to discuss the difference between tone, mood, atmosphere. Interestingly from my perspective they also included the term attitude which I’ve always thought of as something completely separate. Tone is such a complex issue I’ll devote an entire blog post to it but mood, atmosphere and attitude should be easy enough to disentangle so here goes.

Let’s start with mood and atmosphere. To my mind, mood most commonly refers to your internal feelings – “I’m in the mood to see a movie” “Don’t talk to me, I’m in a foul mood“. Atmosphere, on the other hand,  exists in a place – “There was a terrible atmosphere at the meeting” “The atmosphere in the control room was fraught with anxiety, taut as a wire-spring, coiled like a viper”. 

It’s easier to remember this distinction when you consider that ‘atmosphere’ is also the term used to describe the “gaseous envelope which surrounds the earth” – in other words, atmosphere is IN THE AIR whereas your mood is IN YOUR BEING.

The main reason people get confused is because we tend to use the words mood and atmosphere interchangeably, particularly in conversation. Consider this example however:

You’re sauntering down the corridor at school. You’ve just won €1000 and what’s more, it’s Friday! Woo hoo! Nothing can destroy the glorious mood you’re in. You walk into the classroom and stop dead in your tracks. Whispered mutterings break the silence but your classmates are all sitting still in their seats, glancing uneasily at the teacher whose skin is blanched porcelain white, pale complexion broken only by a streak of deep red blood across her forehead.  You don’t know what’s going on but this awful atmosphere had just slapped you in the face and your great mood has dissipated completely. Now there’s a ball of anxiety in your stomach. What the hell is going on?

In the real world when mood meets atmosphere and they clash (good mood, bad atmosphere or vice-versa) it’s difficult for the two to co-exist independently of each other. It’s much more likely that they will influence each other – that your bad mood will be lightened and may even disappear if you enter a place with a jovial lighthearted atmosphere. By contrast a good mood can be destroyed by a really negative atmosphere in a room, as demonstrated above.

However, the depth and root cause of your mood has a huge impact on whether or not the atmosphere will significantly alter how you feel. If you are clinically depressed it’s difficult to feel happy or hopeful about anything no matter how wonderful the atmosphere is in your home / place of work. In fact, you may find being surrounded by lighthearted banter very difficult because you feel so out of place in that environment. On the contrary, if you have just received fantastic news then you may be able to withstand a horrendous atmosphere by just tuning out your surroundings and focusing on your own inner happiness and joy.

So where does attitude enter the equation? Your attitude is the way you view something; it’s a combination of what you think about something and how you feel about it. In forming an attitude you will probably combine an evaluation of the facts with a gut instinct. Some people change their attitude towards people, music, ideas, organisations etc… as often as they change their clothes. Others become very entrenched in their attitudes and will not change their fixed attitudes no matter how much evidence and persuasion is employed to change their mind.

If we return to the example above, let’s say you find out that…

A girl in your class lost it completely, punched the wall (hence the blood) and stormed out of the class. The teacher got blood on her face when she was cleaning the wall. Your attitude to the whole thing is that you hope the girl is OK, you hope the teacher is OK, you think maybe there was something else going on that no-one really understands and you hope there isn’t a whole load of random speculation on facebook this evening because that’s all this girl needs right now. You decide you’ll send her a text offering your support later on. Your good mood returns gradually and you start to plan ways to spend your windfall.

However, what if the circumstances were different? What if you find out that…

… Your best friend collapsed, hit his head on the corner of a table on the way down, had a seizure and is now on life support in hospital. You are devastated. You leave school immediately fighting back the tears. Your attitude is one of complete disbelief. How could this have happened? Will he be OK? You need to find out more. All thoughts of Friday and your windfall have disappeared. Jesus Christ, please let him survive. 

In other words. context is everything. Mood, atmosphere and attitude. Interconnected but each individuals in their own right.

Hope that helps!

Evelyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Argupersuasionment

INFORMATION:

The whole point of information phone lines is that they’re supposed to allow you to get the information you need quickly and the person on the end of the phone is supposed to use simple accessible language (but keep it fairly formal). Bear this in mind if you’re writing to communicate information. Get to the point. Be clear in your message. Move on.

Hope this comedy sketch doesn’t offend anyone… (I don’t think Jonathan Ross reads my blog…)

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06KoQp02FIY]

ARGUMENT:

There’s NOTHING more frustrating than arguing with someone who refuses to actually engage in proper debate. If you’ve got a strong opinion, that’s fine, but be willing to defend your position logically and please provide evidence.

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y]

PERSUASION:

I’ve run out of comedy clips so instead here are two short videos identifying the three key elements of persuasion.

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FB-ZsEaM8I]

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tTugqBkJU]

Test yourself on identifying different language genres here:

http://www.uefap.com/writing/feature/intro/intro.htm

 

Tone (personal essay)

I love this cartoon from Natalie Dee on fanpop.com

Before Christmas I got my TYs (over 50 of them) and my Leaving Certs to write personal essays. Their essays for the most part were funny, sad, moving, at times mad and in many cases very very brave. Among other things I read about a childhood obsession with goldfish; a superhero granny; being an only child; falling into a river in front of the boy you absolutely love love love; suicide; a haunted church; spontaneous uncontrollable crying spells; and being wrapped in tin foil and carried off a volleyball court on a stretcher…

I also discovered that “a commode is the love child of a wheelchair and a portaloo!

I did notice however that very occasionally a personal essay didn’t ‘ring true‘. It’s hard for me to explain how I knew that the writer was inventing or embellishing a sad story (leaning towards or sometimes completely inventing a fiction) rather than drawing on real life experiences (fact) but when I asked a couple of students about it sure enough they said what they’d written about hadn’t actually happened but they felt compelled to give the personal essay a tragic ending in order to engage the reader emotionally.

Oddly, it had the opposite effect – I enjoyed these essays up to the point where they transformed into melodrama and then I just somehow knew that the writer was trying to force a reaction out of me.

Have a look at this beautiful personal essay – but be warned:

(1) It will make you cry

and

(2) You could never write this. You are not a thirty-something-yr-old widower with a toddler and a dead wife. You are a 17 or 18yr old Irish leaving cert student and this is the perspective you MUST write from when you write a personal essay in the exams because fundamentally a personal essay IS NOT A SHORT STORY and IS NOT FICTION. Of course you can write about something funny that happened to someone else and pretend it happened to you; of course you can exaggerate for dramatic or humorous effect. But try to write what you know or your essay is in danger of coming across as insincere and false.

Here it is: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jan/19/telling-toddler-mummys-dead?CMP=twt_gu

Now have a look at this personal essay, whose tone is much more philosophical and opinionated rather than emotional – the tone is completely different but there is no question that it also falls into the category of personal essay.

Here it is (with the longest url in the history of life the universe and everything):

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/education/an-a-student-regrets-his-grades/article7359620/?cmpid=rss1&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:%20TheGlobeAndMail-National%20%28The%20Globe%20and%20Mail%20-%20National%20News%29&buffer_share=8b014

I guess I just want you to realise that you can write a serious opinion piece; an emotional admission; or a funny satire and ALL will still qualify as ‘personal essays’ as long as you write in the first person (“I”) and as long as you are yourself (Irish teenager) not a fictional narrator (a witchdoctor, a talking rubbish bin or a homeless wino).

For clarification of the difference between the personal essay and memoir check this out: http://meghanward.com/blog/2012/08/21/personal-essay-vs-memoir/

That’s all for now folks. Good luck with the mocks revision!